Limbo

It occurs to me that there is a time for every person, perhaps many times when life stands still. Oh, the day to day activities that mark the passage of time continue and we seem to be moving forward but in fact we are at a standstill. The thing that I believe makes us human, that understanding of time passing and growth occurring during that passage is fundamental to any self aware seeker of knowledge and wisdom. In our awareness we look to discern meaning and purpose in our lives and hope that through the seeking we are more in tune with the world around us. For those of us who believe that our lives are blessed by God's grace we hope to gain new understanding of the divine and to discern His purpose for us.

Yet, I also believe that there is a period of life when time seems suspended. When our minds and souls are in limbo, neither moving forward or retreating. It is during those times when we can be either most unsettled or at the greatest peace. It was said by someone much wiser than I to a friend of his who was lamenting the "stuck" place they were in their life: "you say that nothing is happening. I tell you that something is happening, your soul is growing." I understand this concept.

It seems as if I am in limbo but yet there is something very profound happening to me. It's as if my spirit is being prepared for a journey, one who's destination is unclear but that will require a measure of perseverance and fortitude that I have never shown before. Something is changing in me and it seems that it is in response to the need that is on the horizon. Perhaps this is prevenient grace. Perhaps it is the calm before the storm. I do not know what is happening but for some reason I feel no anxiety or fear...just curiosity.

It is a strange and not altogether unpleasant sensation.