Sunday, January 17, 2010

Limbo

It occurs to me that there is a time for every person, perhaps many times when life stands still. Oh, the day to day activities that mark the passage of time continue and we seem to be moving forward but in fact we are at a standstill. The thing that I believe makes us human, that understanding of time passing and growth occurring during that passage is fundamental to any self aware seeker of knowledge and wisdom. In our awareness we look to discern meaning and purpose in our lives and hope that through the seeking we are more in tune with the world around us. For those of us who believe that our lives are blessed by God's grace we hope to gain new understanding of the divine and to discern His purpose for us.

Yet, I also believe that there is a period of life when time seems suspended. When our minds and souls are in limbo, neither moving forward or retreating. It is during those times when we can be either most unsettled or at the greatest peace. It was said by someone much wiser than I to a friend of his who was lamenting the "stuck" place they were in their life: "you say that nothing is happening. I tell you that something is happening, your soul is growing." I understand this concept.

It seems as if I am in limbo but yet there is something very profound happening to me. It's as if my spirit is being prepared for a journey, one who's destination is unclear but that will require a measure of perseverance and fortitude that I have never shown before. Something is changing in me and it seems that it is in response to the need that is on the horizon. Perhaps this is prevenient grace. Perhaps it is the calm before the storm. I do not know what is happening but for some reason I feel no anxiety or fear...just curiosity.

It is a strange and not altogether unpleasant sensation.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Holiness??

I am struggling with my response to faith. This is NOT to say that I am struggling with faith, since that is actually not the issue but rather my response. Over the course of the last 3 years I have put a lot of time and effort into striving toward holiness of mind and body and failing pretty regularly. This in turn has frustrated me on so many levels that it would take several hours to explain and that misses the point. I am frustrated by my inability to attain and then maintain any measurable sense of holiness and that is blocking my ability to move on in understanding my faith better. As I have pondered this over the last few weeks here is what I have begun to realize: holiness is beyond me right now.

Now, for someone who professes a desire to minister to others as a vocation I perceive this as a dilemma and yet, it may also be a real opportunity. I believe that one and perhaps the major reason I am called to serve is because I am so very flawed and broken. Let's face it, this is a flawed and broken world filled with people just like me. Who better to minister and counsel to the fallen than a member of the club? But how can someone still struggling with their own brokenness minister. I believe the answer is in the service itself.

In scripture Jesus did not say "wait until your perfect and then follow me", He just said "follow me, love My Father, believe in Me, love your neighbor". Yes, He also called us to seek perfection but I do not believe for a moment that He expected us to attain perfection in this life. If we could, why would there have been a need for Him to come to earth?

And so, what is an imperfect, flawed broken man to do? I believe that the answer is to live a life of love. Love for God, love for the neighbor, love for service. I am still working through this but I have to believe that if we live a life based on love that holiness will begin to take place. Oh, not perhaps in the whiz bang time frame that we are so fond of, but rather in the slow time of genuine learning and real understanding that so many of us are not fond of, but have to deal with anyway and ultimately benefit greatly from.

I am not sure where this is going and I am not sure what God has in store, but I am sure that the thought and the life represented by the thought is worth living. At best, we work toward perfection, at worst...we live a life based on love. Not a bad way to be thought of when our days are over. And in the end, perhaps they will know we are Christians by our love.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Groanings

How is it that those of us who follow Christ struggle so at times? Isn't it supposed to be just the opposite? Do we not, in accepting the love of God through Christ's sacrifice on our behalf understand that forgiveness brings a freedom of spirit that is supposed to bring constant joy?

The problem with this is that we are still human with all the weaknesses, neurotic tendency's, fears and the pantheon of other emotions that make it so difficult to completely accept that which we cannot see or touch. This is especially true for those of us in the United States. We are so literal and require so much proof that we constantly question everything. Now, this in itself is not a bad thing but when that need for proof blocks our ability to accept wonder and the awe that comes from experiencing the healing that comes from reaching inside to find the grace that is given by God via the Holy Spirit we have a problem.

I do not have the answer to this situation. I struggle with it on a regular basis and and seeking answers. The questions are often daunting: God, how could you really love ME? Will I ever be able to get back my weakness and sin to become holy? How can I live out the life you are calling me too when I feel so inadequate? and on and on.

One of the things I hope to do with this blog is to begin to gather others with similar questions and perhaps together we can come up with prayerful answers so that all of us can experience the love of God that He so much wants to give us.

Peace

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Auld Lang Syne - Part 3

I am only special in that I am a child of God. I share that distinction with about 6 billion other current residents of this planet. I am loved by the Almighty, but no more so than a street beggar in India or an orphan in Rwanda or a banker in New York making $10 million a year or a single mother from Hilliard struggling to provide for her child on $10/hour. Neither are any of them more special than me. We are all special in the eyes of God.
And so I come to the point of this message. Who are we as a church and as a body of Christ? We are ordinary and yet we are special. We are ordinary in that we; like all His children share a common bond and that is God’s love. We are special for the very same reason.
Sometimes we forget that to be special we really do need to understand that we are ordinary and to identify with all of those other ordinary children of God. When we do that, we tend to love a little more willingly, to share a bit more freely and to open our hearts a bit wider. There is a lot of love in this church. We have always been willing to show that love. I wonder what would happen if we stretched ourselves a bit more in 2010. I wonder what it would be like to be thought of as the church in Callahan that can be counted on to help when people are down. I wonder what it would be like to be thought of as the church in Callahan that really cared for the widow’s, the orphan’s, the elderly and the afflicted. I wonder…
Two quick stories and then I will close. Number one concerns our recent visit to shut ins for Christmas caroling. 14 members of this congregation, young and old alike took a Sunday evening to spend a little time with several of our elderly and shut ins. It was about 3 hours out of the lives of the participants and we only stayed at each home for about 10 minutes however, the joy that was given to those dear, often lonely souls was priceless. The comment that came back time and time again was: “this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!” Really? Wow! Just 10 minutes and some slightly off key singing – or was that Christ love we were sharing? Pretty special…maybe it should be more ordinary.
The other is the urgent plea that was received by the church from a mother with 3 children and one on the way. She had fallen on hard times recently and an unexpected expense took all the money she had for Christmas this year. She had called 8 churches and ours was the only one that returned her call. A collection was taken up and we were able to give her a $300 gift card on Christmas Eve. The tears that flowed and the offers to clean our church or do anything to say thank you were nearly hysterical. Instead, she was prayed over and told that no payback was necessary and that when she got back on her feet maybe she could do something nice for someone else…oh and btw, our services are at 10 a.m. each Sunday morning in case she was interested – she would be welcome. Pretty special – actually, around here that is pretty ordinary. We sometimes have trouble meeting our budget but I have noticed that whenever there is a genuine need we never seem to have a problem finding the funds. Pretty special if you ask me. To God, it is special but I believe He wants it to be ordinary.
Mother Teresa is known for amazing love and a gift for the written and spoken word in the name of the Lord. A couple of her best quotes are: “If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it”. She also said: “Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given”. Profound? Yes. Wise? Absolutely! Ordinary? Probably not. Attainable? What do you think? What did Jesus think?
You know… in 2009 we had some pretty good moments at First United Methodist of Callahan. We saw coats being given to cold children; we saw hungry people being fed, lonely people being ministered to and those in need having a place to come, even when others turned them away. In 2009 we had some pretty great worship and some wonderful family gatherings. We presented some great holiday musical celebrations and saw many of our members become committed to invigorating our relationship with God and with each other. All this and we shared a lot of love, a lot of laughter, some good food and fellowship and yes, we even shared some heartache. Oh, and we bought a tattoo parlor. What does 2010 have in store for us? I don’t know about you but I hope it is truly special and I hope and pray that what is considered special and even extraordinary by other folks becomes ordinary for us. I believe that knowing and spreading the love of Jesus Christ and better knowing the glory of God the Father, all the while guided by the Holy Spirit should become as ordinary for us a breathing. I am certain that God would really like that.
Oh, by the way – the headlines that I quoted to you at the beginning of this message were not from 2009 but rather from 1934. That same year unemployment was nearly 22% and that was down from the 25% in 1933. Yea, times right now are a bit tough and yes, there are definitely people in our communities enduring real suffering so maybe we need to put many of our own trials in perspective and just decide that God is with us, that He loves us and He expects pretty special things from us as a part of every ordinary day.
After all, we are created in His image…and that is pretty special.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Auld Lang Syne - Part 2

Which is why seeking after God really does have to be a daily and even an hourly thing for us. Not for His sake – though He does really want a back and forth relationship with us but rather for ours. God wants to help us acquire the peace He has to give. He loves us! How often we forget that. Even more, we have trouble accepting it. God loves ME? But I have so many worts. I am such a pain and SO unlovable. God knows our faults. He knows our failings but He loves us. We are HIS children and like any good parent He loves us, no matter how much we disappoint Him. His fondest hope is that we will accept the wisdom He has to offer and will grow into the faithful, loving members of His family that He has called us to be.
Now – how do we get to know Him better with a schedule jam packed with stuff? Let me offer a suggestion. Reorganize your schedule. We have been told that we are to love the Lord with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind. That being the case, there should be nothing more important in our day than taking time to seek Him. I have learned that any day that does not begin with me seeking His guidance and peace at the beginning is usually not nearly as good a day as when I start my day with prayer and seeking Him in scripture. Even if that means getting up 15 minutes earlier – I can guarantee you that those will not be wasted minutes. Maybe you have to cut out something else. It will be worth the loss – I guarantee it!
When I started writing this message I was having a terrible time getting started. I had all these ideas running around in my head and just could not settle down…and then it occurred to me: I never sought God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit. The first thought that came to my head was: IDIOT!! The second was: stop and talk to God – and so I did. I asked the Spirit to guide me and to settle my mind to deliver whatever message He wanted. I can tell you that within 10 minutes I was able to settle down and start writing.
Our God wants us to know Him better, because He loves us deeply and wants to help us get through the day and through our lives. Later in Romans we read: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. God wants us to know Him better, He wants to be happy and peaceful and He wants to make our lives better, where it counts – in our hearts.
Now, in the few short years in which I have begun to establish a relationship with the Father I have learned that if I ask – He will answer. Probably not in the way I expect or when I want Him to but He will answer. The problem with God’s answers is that as often as not, we don’t like or maybe don’t even understand the answer. Time and again in scripture we are called upon to respond to God’s grace with faithfulness and yes, even service.
Can I just say for a moment that just seems totally unfair! Oh wait, is that a childish thing to say? Probably, and yet I constantly find myself trying to ignore what God is saying to me because it is hard, or inconvenient. I don’t want to help other people – they scare me. I don’t want to take on this task – I might fail. I don’t want to have to go to that meeting; I would rather go home and just veg – I do not want to take that leap of faith, it’s totally imprudent and people will question my motives. Sound familiar at all?
God is not about convenience nor is he there to cater to our arrogance or ego. God is about faithfulness. God is about love. In fact, He loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to atone for our fallen nature and to renew relationship with Him - to create a new covenant. Now, a covenant is a contract and in every contract there are requirements and responsibilities for both parties. The funny thing about a contract based on love is that, if you are really committed to the principles laid out in the contract you find yourself doing your side of the bargain willingly and even eagerly. But there is a catch: You have to know the other party in the agreement. It’s hard to really meet the terms of any contract if you do not know the character or expectations of the other party. God already knows you – do you know God? Do you seek to know Him? That’s what He really wants, for you to know Him more intimately, more lovingly, more completely. And the more you know Him, the more you will love Him and the more you love Him the more you will love serving Him.
Love should be at the center of your most important relationships and this one should be a love unlike any other. All that we have we owe to God. In America we have a tendency to gloss over that part of the relationship. Sort of “Gee thanks for all the cool stuff God – what are you going to do for me next?” In many ways we have an extreme entitlement mentality in this country. I believe that we in America have developed this so much that even a little suffering causes us to blow things completely out of proportion.
I heard a story that I have not been able to confirm however, the story goes: Someone once asked her if we didn't face suffering in the US because we were a righteous nation. She replied, "Oh no, I'm afraid you're so wrong." They said, "What do you mean?" She said, "I don't think you suffer because I don't think you're worthy to suffer."
Think about that one for a while…You see, a little suffering causes you to reflect on the important things in life and also begins to show you where you should be focusing your energies. In James we are encouraged with these words: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him”.
I know about this. I have been out of work for 6 months and in that entire time I have tried to make sense out of the situation and about my own failings. What I have figured out is that my own arrogance and foolishness put me in the situation I am in. I believed that I deserved everything that I had gotten and in fact – I was owed plenty more. I was wrong. I deserve nothing. I have earned nothing that God did not give to me. It is only my own self centeredness that makes me believe I am somehow more special than others.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Auld Lang Syne

Auld Lang Syne

Scripture – John 13: 34-35

Romans 8: 11-18

Headlines!

KEY MORTGAGE BILL DEFEATED IN SENATE

OUTPUT EXPANSION AT FEDERAL RISK STUDIED IN CAPITAL; Administration Aides Weigh Plan to Put People to Work.

CITY VOTES REFUND IN MONTH'S PAY CUT; FURLOUGHS TO END

Search for French Air Liner Proves Vain

GOUGING CHARGED TO CITY PHYSICIANS

Episcopalians, in Heated Debate

Forest Fires Again Sweep Suburban Areas

2009 – What a year this has been. We look around at our world and we wonder what the heck is going on. With unemployment at 10% nationwide and even worse in Florida we are left with a feeling of uncertainty and even dread that comes from not knowing what the future holds.

2009 was also a year, like all others. We woke up each morning to face the challenges of the day… but not before that first cup of coffee. We ate our breakfast, got ready for work or school (or, if you are unemployed – another day of job hunting) and went out of the front door to face whatever this world had to offer. Throughout the day there are numerous challenges, opportunities, tests, aggravations, misunderstandings, laughs, tears, and on and on. There were sometimes moments of great beauty and visions of terrible tragedy. News that makes us think or fills us with dread.

We have leaders and those who we have come to look to as examples or role models regularly disappoint us with their humanness. Every day we are bombarded with news that this or that celebrity or sports figure or politician has done something morally reprehensible, or illegal and a bit more of our faith gets eroded. And of course then there are the terrible tragedies that happen to ordinary people. How can we bear up under the news that yet again another parent has taken their own child’s life or someone that we know has a terrible disease or a wonderful program that helps many members of the community is about to be cut because of budget problems. 2009 was NO exception in the amount of terrible news.

Is it any wonder that so many of us try to find escape from the regular assault that is our daily lives? Here’s something to ponder – in 2008 people in the United States spent over $42 Billion on Electronic games components and software. In a report issued at the beginning of 2009 it was estimated that the average American watched 151 hours of TV every month – that’s 5 hours or 21% of each day. Social networking sites like FaceBook and MySpace currently have 164 Million users in the United States which is about 53% of our population. You see, we want to forget about our troubles and the challenges of the day and so we lose ourselves in forms of entertainment and socializing that generally do not require us to consider the deeper implications of our lives or even of the day we just spent.

It is human and natural to do this. It is very difficult to be “tuned in” all the time. Yet, it is also true that we have a basic need to ponder the deeper things of life. An active, stimulated brain is a very healthy thing and for our spirits it is essential. As Christians we require the interaction that comes from exploring and cultivating our relationship with God. More importantly, He wants us to know Him better. He has so much to teach us and yet, we so often do not want to hear what our Master is saying. I believe that we shy away from this relationship because we fear what He may ask us to do.

Being a child of God is not easy. Jesus Christ, during His entire ministry challenged His followers to love God with everything they had and to serve Him with equal passion. And He put an exclamation point on that service by saying that we need to love our neighbor 2nd only to God.

First and foremost God is looking to have us know Him better. You see, He already knows everything about us. No matter how hard we try to hide things about ourselves He knows – He always knows. In Acts we are told: God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. Now, understand that this passage is specifically directed at us Gentiles because at that time in very early church history there was a huge debate about allowing Gentiles into the ranks of those who are covered by salvation without forcing them to first become Jews and therefore being required to follow the law and be circumcised. In this passage Peter is saying that God purifies and calls us all to communion with Him and therefore salvation by Jesus atoning blood is given freely to all, without the old conditions.

So God wants us, no matter who we are and He wants us to know Him better, every day. In that increasing knowledge comes a peace that we cannot really understand because there is not tangible reason for it. By tangible I mean you cannot reach out and touch it, nor taste it nor even see it however, as certain as I am standing in front of you it is real. Roman’s 5:1 says: “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”. You see, it really only requires faith. Now for us “I have to see it to believe it American’s” that is not the easiest thing in the world.